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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27700292">catch me (when i fall)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinneyb/pseuds/kinneyb'>kinneyb</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Curses, M/M, Witch Curses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:00:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,524</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27700292</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinneyb/pseuds/kinneyb</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’ll come with me to Kaer Morhen. Until we know what she did to you, I don’t want you to leave my side.”</p>
<p>Jaskier blinked. Suddenly he was grinning, eyes bright with joy. “You sooo care about me,” he singsonged.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>565</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>catch me (when i fall)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>twitter: queermight<br/>tumblr: korrmin</p>
<p>im always accepting requests over at my tumblr so go check it out if ur interested &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Geralt <em>told </em>him not to follow but as per usual Jaskier hadn’t listened.</p>
<p>
  <em>(“I’m serious,” he said, staring at Jaskier as he strummed lazily at his lute on the bed. “This isn’t just a monster. Monsters are easy to predict. Mages are the complete opposite. Stay here.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Jaskier looked up with a heavy sigh. “Fine, fine,” he said, flapping his hand in the air. “I’ll be good.”)</em>
</p>
<p>Geralt should’ve known better; Jaskier was the most stubborn person he knew, even next to Yennefer. Normally Geralt would’ve been able to pick up on the bard’s presence, unable to hide himself completely from Geralt’s enhanced senses, but the mage was <em>vicious </em>and called for all his attention or else he might really regret it.</p>
<p>It was the climax of the fight, the mage momentarily out of commission after a rough clash with Geralt’s sword, coughing harshly as she pulled herself out of the rubble that had - once - been her cottage. Geralt stepped forward and offered her one last chance.</p>
<p>“You can leave, stop terrorizing these people,” he said gruffly. He could see it in her unnaturally bright eyes; she was drunk on power. It was a look he’d seen on Yennefer a few times but never like this.</p>
<p>Suddenly she was back on her feet and snarling. Geralt couldn’t help thinking he’d been wrong earlier; she wasn’t all that different from a beast. “You think you’re some <em>hero?”</em> she spat, eyes wild and blazing. Before he could reply, even if he even would have, her hands started to move, too fast. Geralt’s skin prickled at the magic being drawn out of the air.</p>
<p>“I don’t want to kill you,” he said over the rushing in his ears. He meant it. He never liked killing, even the most deserving ones. “You can still do the right—”</p>
<p>She shoved her hands forward and Geralt prepared to react; he was just a second too late. A blur of brown and green and he was on the ground with a heavy weight on top of him. His eyes snapped open to find Jaskier on him. Jaskier, who looked okay. Who was staring at him like <em>he </em>was the one who’d just taken a burst of magic to the chest.</p>
<p>Geralt opened his mouth to say something before remembering their situation and cursing loudly, shoving Jaskier to the side. The mage stared on, the lines of her face just a little deeper. The magic was taking a toll on her.</p>
<p>Rushing forward, Geralt drew his sword up and danced out of the way of her magic. It was weaker than before, he could tell. Moving quickly, he dodged again and shoved his sword through her stomach. He could’ve gone for her chest but he needed answers. Needed her death to be slow. The blood was warm on his face. He was used to it, but still disliked it.</p>
<p>She slumped slowly to the ground as he withdrew his sword. He heard Jaskier’s hurried footsteps.</p>
<p>“What was in that magic?” he demanded; blood poured out of her stomach. Too much of it. She needed to answer quickly or it’d be too late.</p>
<p>She smiled, eyes moving to Jaskier. “I see the real hero was your—” she licked her bloody lips “—bard.”</p>
<p>Geralt snarled, rage like a fire in the pit of his stomach. “<em>What</em>,” he said evenly, “did you do?”</p>
<p>But he knew it was too late; her eyes had already glazed over, even as she still smiled up at them. Cursing, he turned away. Jaskier stared at him with wide eyes. He <em>looked </em>fine. Stepping closer, he reached out to him. Jaskier was still as he moved his hands over him, checking for any sign of—<em>anything</em>, he supposed, but he couldn’t find a scratch on him.</p>
<p>“And you remember me?” he asked, finally withdrawing his hands, eyes narrowed. “Don’t feel any weird pain or discomfort?”</p>
<p>Jaskier rolled his eyes. Geralt resisted the urge to strangle him, as if he didn’t understand the possible depth of the situation. “Of course I remember you,” he replied. “And I feel fine. A little sore, but I think that’s expected.”</p>
<p>Geralt hmmed, still not convinced. His eyes roamed the length of Jaskier’s body; he looked fine and felt fine. That didn’t mean she hadn’t done <em>something </em>to him. Magic could be tricky. Until he knew for certain, he wasn’t letting him go off by himself.</p>
<p>“You’ll come with me to Kaer Morhen,” he said. Not an invitation, or an offer, but a demand.</p>
<p>Jaskier’s eyes widened comically. “I’ll—<em>what?</em>” he asked in disbelief. Geralt supposed that was a fair reaction; he’d never even offered before. He had thought about it, of course, but never quite had the courage to ask. For him, Kaer Morhen was his home. It was important to him, and he didn’t share it with many people.</p>
<p>But Jaskier wasn’t a stranger. He trusted him, and even <em>wanted </em>him to be a part of his family, he realized, with a strange fullness in his chest.</p>
<p>Geralt decided he could examine that particular feeling a little closer <em>later</em>. “Until we know what she did to you, I don’t want you to leave my side.”</p>
<p>Jaskier blinked. Suddenly he was grinning, eyes bright with joy. “You sooo care about me,” he singsonged, poking him in his sore arm. He barely held back his wince but Jaskier was too observant. “Oh,” he said, looking mildly guilty. “Here, come on.”</p>
<p>Once they were back at camp, Jaskier took to the usual task of treating Geralt’s wounds. It was only after every wound had been treated, wrapped or slathered with the right cream, that Jaskier sat back with a frown.</p>
<p>“You’re being especially quiet,” he said, “even for you.”</p>
<p>Geralt lifted his gaze. Jaskier sat in front of the fire with tousled hair and just a bit of dirt on his cheek. He sighed. “I’m mad,” he admitted, and Jaskier seemed to know why before he even went on, shrinking in on himself. “If we’re lucky, the mage’s spell was a bust and you’re okay. If not, I know Vesemir will be able to help.”</p>
<p>Jaskier didn’t say anything.</p>
<p>“But none of that matters as much as this—I <em>told </em>you to stay here, Jaskier,” he continued, stomach churning as he imagined the worst. “You could’ve been <em>killed</em>. I could’ve had to—” His throat suddenly felt too dry for words. “Bury you,” he finished, because he would’ve. He never would’ve just left Jaskier to rot without a proper place to rest. “Do I think I want to do that?”</p>
<p>Jaskier just stared at him, looking properly guilty. “I’m sorry,” he said after a long moment.</p>
<p>“Why did you do it?” he asked. “Are your ballads really that important to you?”</p>
<p>Jaskier shook his head. “I—well, yes,” he admitted, “but that isn’t…” He looked off to the side, fidgeting with the ring on his right hand, spinning it around and around. Geralt hmmed. “I worry. When you go off on your own. I just feel—better, being there.”</p>
<p>Geralt frowned. It was dumb of him, obviously. Jaskier couldn’t help much in a fight, as shown earlier. The most he could do was block or take a hit and that was—not good for the situation. Vesemir had always told him not to let his rage overtake him, ever. Made you weak and messy. Earlier he had very nearly lost himself to it.</p>
<p>“I’d rather not have to worry about you when I’m in the middle of a fight,” Geralt said, truthfully. He didn’t doubt he would die protecting Jaskier, and while that would be a worthwhile death, he wasn’t quite prepared for the end yet.</p>
<p>Jaskier winced, nodding quickly. “Of course. I understand. I’ll stop, swear.”</p>
<p>Geralt reached over. Jaskier stared at him with wide eyes as he swept his thumb across his cheek. “Bit of dirt,” he explained gruffly, and Jaskier just smiled a little.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Geralt left after that to grab them something for supper; the forest was painfully empty but he at least secured them a couple of rabbits. When he returned, Jaskier was fast asleep by the fire. Geralt snorted, eyeing his bedroll just a couple feet away.</p>
<p>Sitting down, he went to work skinning the rabbits and put them over the fire. Once the rabbits were cooked thoroughly, he woke Jaskier up.</p>
<p>His eyes snapped open, bleary as if he’d been asleep for hours, not just thirty minutes. “Wha—?”</p>
<p>Geralt pulled one of the sticks off the fire, offering it. “Food,” he explained with a hint of amusement.</p>
<p>Jaskier blinked a few times before nodding, taking the stick. “Thanks,” he said sheepishly. “I don’t even remember falling asleep.”</p>
<p>“Long day,” he replied easily with a shrug. “We’ll start the trek to Kaer Morhen in the morning.”</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Jaskier slept through most of their journey. The only time he didn’t sleep was when they stopped at night and he stayed up all night, thinking of Vesemir and Geralt’s brothers (as he called them, with a fondness Jaskier rarely saw), wondering if they would like him. A silly worry, he supposed, but no less real. They were Geralt’s family, the closest thing he had to one, at least. He wanted to make a good first impression.</p>
<p>Once they reached the bottom of the mountains, Jaskier slept a little less. It was a difficult path to the top with constant twists and turns, sharp and seemingly out of nowhere. Jaskier would’ve never found the start of the path if he’d been on his own, which he assumed was the point.</p>
<p>It was a bumpy ride, and Roach seemed displeased the whole way. Jaskier promised her treats once it was all over and Geralt snorted, shaking his head.</p>
<p>“You need to stop spoiling her,” he said. “She’ll get used to it.”</p>
<p>Jaskier shrugged, smiling where Geralt couldn’t see him. “What’s wrong with that?” he replied, and Geralt just shook his head again.</p>
<p>The next thing Jaskier remembered after that was Geralt’s voice, familiar and gruff, “Fucking—<em>Jaskier</em>.” He opened his eyes to Geralt gripping his arm so tightly Jaskier was sure he’d have bruises later. He blinked once before realizing the reason for his tone of his voice. Jaskier squeaked as he quickly sat up again, clearing his throat. “Next time I’ll let you fall,” he threatened but Jaskier knew it was an empty threat.</p>
<p>Still, he had to admit he was surprised he’d managed to fall asleep given the bumpy ride. He supposed he <em>hadn’t </em>been sleeping very well at night.</p>
<p>Jaskier stared up at the sky, mostly to try and make sure he didn’t fall asleep again. “What should I say?” he asked after a while. “To make a good first impression, I mean.”</p>
<p>Geralt was silent for a few minutes. “Just be polite to Vesemir,” he answered finally, gruff and low. “Eskel and Lambert—well, Lambert will probably be rude. Just ignore him. Eskel knows—” His mouth suddenly snapped shut, loud enough Jaskier heard the clank of his teeth. Frowning, Jaskier wished he could see his face. “He’s kinder than me,” he finished eventually, obviously forgoing his original sentence.</p>
<p>“I doubt that’s possible,” he teased, but it was only half a joke. Geralt really was kind, even if he didn’t realize it.</p>
<p>The only reply he received was a grunt.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Kaer Morhen was not what Jaskier had imagined all those years Geralt had left to go off on his own. It was <em>beautiful</em>. Geralt was the first off Roach and offered a silent hand to Jaskier, who blinked once before accepting it.</p>
<p>Before they could even share a word with each other, three figures appeared out of seemingly nowhere. Jaskier startled, straightening his back.</p>
<p>Vesemir was easy to spot, the oldest of them. He had heard plenty of the man from Geralt, and while he appreciated him for raising Geralt, he couldn’t say he had a flow of respect for a man that took in abandoned children and tortured them, reasons be damned. Though, now, Jaskier had to admit he had a calming presence.</p>
<p>Lambert was also easy to spot if only for the distasteful curl to his mouth, and Eskel for the small friendly (if vaguely confused) smile on his face.</p>
<p>“A friend?” Vesemir asked, eyeing Jaskier with interest.</p>
<p>Jaskier smiled sheepishly, stepping forward. He offered a hand—to who, he didn’t know. Eskel took care of the awkward lull as he stepped forward as well and accepted his hand with a firm shake. He wasn’t looking at him, he noticed, but staring at Geralt.</p>
<p>“Is this—?”</p>
<p>Geralt harshly cleared his throat. Eskel’s eyes sparkled, and Jaskier had <em>so many</em> questions. “This is Jaskier,” he said gruffly. “We think he might’ve been hit with some kind of spell or curse. We’re not sure, but I thought it safer here than out there on his own until we know for certain.” He looked to Vesemir. “That is okay, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>Vesemir hummed. “If you trust him, then I do.”</p>
<p>Jaskier watched as Geralt gave a quick nod, almost too fast to see. His chest was tight with the confirmation that Geralt—a man of very little faith in others—trusted <em>him</em>.</p>
<p>“Yes, well,” Jaskier began, turning back to the three men. “It is a pleasure—”</p>
<p>He didn’t quite get to finish his sentence.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>When he opened his eyes again, he startled at the unfamiliar sight of not just Geralt but <em>four </em>witchers peering down at him. “Um.” His throat was a little dry. “What happened?” he croaked. Geralt looked a little relieved to hear him talking but also still impossibly tense.</p>
<p>Vesemir hummed thoughtfully as he pressed a hand to Jaskier’s forehead, the way his mother used to do. “He isn’t warm,” he commented, withdrawing his hand.</p>
<p>Jaskier frowned. “Why would I?” He hadn’t felt ill over the past few days.</p>
<p>“Because you passed out in a middle of a sentence and nearly hit the floor like a sack of potatoes,” Lambert quipped. “Luckily I have the best reflexes out of all of them.” He gave a tiny tip of his head. “You’re welcome.”</p>
<p>Geralt glared at Lambert silently. Jaskier finally sat up. He felt fine, at least. “I appreciate the worry, gentlemen,” he said, glancing around at all of them, “but I’m fine, really. Probably just a little tired because I haven’t been getting much sleep.”</p>
<p>He hoped that would quell the worry. He didn’t expect the <em>exact </em>opposite.</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” Geralt asked quickly, moving closer to him. “Since when?”</p>
<p>Jaskier blinked up at him. “I—don’t know,” he admitted; normally he adored attention of <em>any </em>kind, good or bad, but right now he felt a little small under all their heavy gazes. “Not that long.”</p>
<p>Geralt let out a sudden curse and turned away. Jaskier stared at his back, confused and not understanding. The starting prickle of panic was familiar, like lit matches had been thrown in his stomach to start a fire.</p>
<p>Vesemir crouched by his side. “Geralt mentioned while you were… under,” he said, “that you’d been passing out a lot. He didn’t think much of it, though he did say it was unusual.”</p>
<p>“Can we skip all the cryptic nonsense and get to the point?” he asked, voice a little too high.</p>
<p>Lambert snorted. “Yes, <em>definitely </em>an acquaintance of our brother,” he muttered to Eskel, who harshly elbowed him.</p>
<p>Vesemir ignored them both. “We have a tool here,” he explained, “that will let us know if any magic is currently active on you.”</p>
<p>A slow blink. “Wait,” he said, eyes snapping back to Geralt, who had turned back around at some point. “You think this has something to do with that stupid witch?”</p>
<p>Geralt’s mouth was a thin, thin line. “I don’t know,” he confessed. “Possibly.”</p>
<p>“But why—” he let out a startled laugh. “What kind of witch would curse me with—?” He gestured vaguely at himself. “And especially if it’d been intended for you.” He pointed a finger at Geralt. “What would she hope to gain from this?”</p>
<p>Geralt shrugged sharply. “She might have meant for something else.”</p>
<p>“Something <em>worse</em>,” Lambert added unhelpfully.</p>
<p>Geralt sighed, shaking his head. Jaskier recognized the familiar tense line of his jaw. He was blaming himself. “Magic, chaos, none of it can be guaranteed, even for the best of the best.”</p>
<p>Jaskier saw Vesemir nod. “Might’ve been a permanent sleeping spell, to give her the upper hand in Geralt’s demise. In her frazzled state, it would’ve been easy to make a mistake.”</p>
<p>“Well, small blessings,” Jaskier muttered, crossing his arms and looking off to the side. Geralt was back at his side in seconds, a hand on his shoulder. He peered up at the man he frankly trusted with his life. “What do we do?” he asked, hoping it was a <em>we </em>situation and not an <em>I</em>. He almost felt bad for doubting Geralt, after everything, after bringing him here and introducing him to his family, but his own insecurities were ugly and present.</p>
<p>Geralt lightly squeezed his shoulder. “It’ll take a bit,” he said, “but we can call for a mage.” He looked at the others. “One of us will need to go down and escort them.”</p>
<p>“A mage?” he repeated doubtfully. “Or a certain mage?”</p>
<p>Geralt side-eyed him with a frown. “I couldn’t find her even if I wanted to,” he said, and Jaskier wasn’t very comforted by that.</p>
<p>“Right, of course, but you obviously <em>want </em>to,” he replied, just the edge of too sharp.</p>
<p>Lambert whistled suddenly, breaking a bit of the tension. Vesemir nodded at him, a silent thanks, before stepping forward. “We will call for a mage,” he agreed, glancing at Jaskier. “It might take a couple days.”</p>
<p>“Thank you,” he said, meaning it. He pointedly didn’t look at Geralt. “Might I be pointed in the direction of a proper room?”</p>
<p>Eskel looked questioningly at Geralt, who was glaring at a wall, silent and tense, before sighing. “Of course,” he said. “Follow me.”</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Jaskier stayed in his room until supper. Occasionally he’d drift off without meaning to, startling awake about twenty or thirty minutes later (judging by the sun’s position in the sky, a trick he hadn’t known before meeting Geralt). Finally there was a knock at his door. He didn’t reply fast enough; the door opened and Eskel stood in the doorway.</p>
<p>He was a handsome man, even with the nasty scar.</p>
<p>“Supper is ready,” he said. “Will you be joining us?”</p>
<p>Jaskier sighed as he stood up from the bed. “I could eat,” he said, not quite answering his question.</p>
<p>Eskel shrugged. They silently walked down the hall together. “I know how he can be,” Eskel said finally, breaking the silence. Jaskier eyed him skeptically. “Geralt is—he doesn’t know how to express his needs in a healthy way,” he continued, mouth twisting, “but he is a good man. One of the better ones.”</p>
<p>“I would never deny that,” he replied, sharp but quiet. He wouldn’t, not even in the deepest depths of his anger.</p>
<p>Eskel nodded, staring ahead. “He’s spoken of you a lot,” he continued again. Jaskier side-eyed him, waiting for more. When he didn’t say another word, Jaskier frowned and stopped suddenly in the hallway, turning toward him. Eskel looked pleased, but like he was trying to hide it (badly). “He might be bad with words, but he cares for you, bard. Deeply.”</p>
<p>Jaskier blinked at the words, spoken with such certainty. But the truth of the matter was—“I don’t doubt that,” he said firmly, turning away and continuing down the long hall again. Eskel’s footsteps were silent, nonexistent. Just like Geralt’s. He only knew he was following once he spared a glance behind him.</p>
<p>“If you don’t doubt his loyalty, why not tell him?”</p>
<p>Jaskier quickly looked away. “What are you implying?” he asked, forcing his voice to be perfectly even.</p>
<p>Eskel caught up to him, walking by his side. “I just think honesty is underrated,” he said easily. Jaskier snorted.</p>
<p>“Oh, really?”</p>
<p>Eskel shrugged. “The truth might be painful, but it is <em>always </em>freeing.”</p>
<p>Jaskier stared at him, frowning, when suddenly he was hit with the smell of meat. His mouth watered and his stomach grumbled. He hadn’t even realized he was so hungry. Looking ahead, he saw what was obviously some form of dining hall, stone tables with benches. Lambert was there and so was Vesemir, and—Geralt, sat by himself with a steaming bowl of stew in front of him.</p>
<p>He ignored the urge to go to him, apologize. Instead he held his head high and walked to the table.</p>
<p>Picking up a bowl, he dipped the ladle in the pot of stew. “Smells lovely,” he remarked, and Vesemir was obviously the cook because he seemed to preen a little. Finished, he gave a slight bow and turned away.</p>
<p>“You’re not staying?” he heard. Not from Geralt, but Lambert, sounding more curious than anything.</p>
<p>Jaskier nodded without looking, holding the hot bowl carefully. “I’ll eat in my room,” he said evenly, “if that’s acceptable.” When he received no response, he relaxed a bit and took a step, fully intending to return to his room.</p>
<p>He couldn’t predict the stupid curse would choose <em>then </em>to attack; suddenly he was tipping to the side, eyelashes fluttering. He heard a clatter—his bowl?—and then a hiss of pain followed by peaceful nothingness.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>When he opened his eyes, he was still in the dining hall. Eskel was crouched next to him with a frown. Behind him was Vesemir and Lambert.</p>
<p>“What—where’s—?”</p>
<p>Just as he began to ask, Geralt appeared from a door. Not the entrance. The kitchen, if he had to guess. Jaskier quickly noticed that his arm was wrapped in wet rags; his heart started to beat a little faster. A hand on his shoulder—Eskel’s—was the only thing keeping him from panicking.</p>
<p>“You left us for a few minutes there,” he explained. “Geralt stopped you from burning your skin off.”</p>
<p>Jaskier nearly let out a sob; Geralt had moved closer, now, but he wasn’t looking at him. “But he’s—”</p>
<p>“Fine,” he interrupted gruffly, finally looking at him. “Hurts,” he admitted with a stiff shrug, “but will heal quickly.”</p>
<p>Jaskier relaxed, but only barely. “I suppose this curse is a little more dangerous than I originally thought,” he confessed quietly. He was lucky that Geralt had been there, and had protected him despite his earlier cruelness. Like Eskel had said, Geralt was a good man, even to those undeserving of his kindness.</p>
<p>Geralt shared a look with the others, a look Jaskier couldn’t quite read, before they all stood in unison and left the hall, food obviously forgotten. Stepping closer, Geralt turned and sunk to the floor beside him.</p>
<p>“You didn’t have to do that,” Jaskier said after a moment.</p>
<p>Geralt snorted, the bastard. “Yes,” he replied, “I did. I couldn’t have forgiven myself if you’d gotten hurt.”</p>
<p>Jaskier chanced a glance; Geralt wasn’t looking at him, but staring ahead. He looked both relaxed and tense all at once.</p>
<p>“Vesemir has sent for a mage,” Geralt continued after a proper stretch of silence. Jaskier found himself staring at Geralt’s arm; he couldn’t see the damage under all those rags but he knew, even with Geralt’s advanced healing, it was probably an ugly sight and would be a for a while. Sighing softly, he turned to Jaskier. “I don’t know what I did,” he said, “but I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>Jaskier blinked, genuinely surprised. “You didn’t—I should be the one apologizing to you,” he said quickly. “You were just trying to help and I selfishly let my own feelings—” His mouth snapped shut as he looked ahead. “I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>Silence again.</p>
<p>“Why do you dislike her so much?”</p>
<p>Jaskier suddenly wished the stupid curse would remove him from this particular conversation. “You don’t want to know,” he said simply.</p>
<p>Geralt hmmed. “I don’t like others assuming what I do and don’t want to know,” he replied easily.</p>
<p>He cracked a small smile at that, unable to help himself. Sighing heavily, he fidgeted with one of his rings, spinning it around and around on his finger. He supposed he could tell some of the truth without confessing the crux of it, the fact that he was jealous of Yennefer because she was the one who Geralt wanted, who he chased after and choose <em>every </em>time.</p>
<p>“I guess,” he started slowly, “I’m just jealous of her.”</p>
<p>He could feel Geralt’s gaze on him, calculating and heavy. Jaskier took a deep breath.</p>
<p>“She’s—everything I could never hope to be,” he continued, stomach churning with each word. Jaskier didn’t hate himself, quite the contrary. He had been perfectly contented with his life, even if he had struggled to make enough for food some nights. But then he had met Geralt, and he had to accept that he simply wasn’t <em>enough </em>for him. “She’s powerful and beautiful and no one dares to disrespect her, lest their head be chopped off.”</p>
<p>Geralt hmmed again, low and thoughtful. “I’m sure she thinks similarly of you,” he said, and Jaskier couldn’t help the harsh laugh that ripped out of his throat.</p>
<p>“Excuse me?”</p>
<p>Geralt shrugged. “You’re honest and fearless,” he said, like it was that easy. “Despite being a human, you’re stupidly brave.” Jaskier side-eyed him, heart beating just a little faster. Geralt smiled, tiny and private like he thought Jaskier still wasn’t watching. “You have qualities even a woman like Yennefer could be envious of.”</p>
<p>Jaskier wished he knew what he was doing when he said stuff like that. “I should sleep,” he blurted.</p>
<p>“Thought you couldn’t sleep,” he remarked.</p>
<p>Jaskier smiled a little. “Guess you <em>do </em>listen when I talk,” he said with a hint of amusement. Sighing softly, he stared ahead, scratching the back of his neck. “I haven’t been able to sleep. Not properly. It’s not like I’m not sleeping at all. I just can’t control <em>when</em>, and I keep startling awake after twenty, thirty minutes. Kind of just a tease, if you ask me.”</p>
<p>“I can stay with you, then,” he heard, and Jaskier peeked at him. “If you want.”</p>
<p>Jaskier knew he was just being kind, because that’s what Geralt was—<em>kind</em>, if a little rough around the edges. He selfishly didn’t care. “Okay.”</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Predictably, he didn’t sleep much that night. When he did, he would startle awake after just a few minutes and quickly look around the room, relaxing only once he saw Geralt by the bed, a book open in his lap.</p>
<p>At breakfast, Jaskier passed out over his plate more than once and very nearly ruined his favorite doublet. Geralt sat next to him, saving him whenever he suddenly lost consciousness, usually able to predict it early by a couple seconds.</p>
<p>“I can hear when your heartbeat starts to slow,” he explained once Jaskier had given up on breakfast after just a few bites.</p>
<p>Jaskier leaned on the table, burying his face in his hands. “I’m so <em>tired</em>,” he groaned. He was sleeping, in a way, but none of his impromptu naps seemed to actually be <em>refreshing</em>. “How long until the mage arrives?” he asked, looking up hopefully.</p>
<p>Vesemir looked across the table with a frown. “Yes, we wanted to talk about that.” Jaskier could feel Geralt tense next to him. He supposed that meant he was just as confused as him, which was comforting. “Unfortunately, she sent word that she might be late by a couple of days. No longer, she promised.”</p>
<p>“And I’m just hearing about this?” Geralt asked gruffly, but Vesemir just looked at him blankly.</p>
<p>“When I went to tell you, you weren’t in your room.”</p>
<p>Jaskier felt his cheeks grow hot, as if he had anything to be embarrassed about. Geralt had just slept in his room, nothing more. “No worries,” he said, loudly clearing his throat. “I can handle a few more days.”</p>
<p>Vesemir nodded. “Feel free to roam as you wish and ask for anything you might need.”</p>
<p>“Thank you,” he said, giving a slight bow as he stood up. “I actually—I think I need some fresh air.” Without waiting for a reply, he turned and left the room.</p>
<p>He heard Eskel’s voice before he was too far, which was quickly growing familiar, “Give him some space.”</p>
<p>Geralt’s only reply was a grunt. Shaking his head, Jaskier turned down the hall, fully intending to just take the path to the training grounds. When he stumbled across the stairs that led to the highest tower—not that he knew as much, at the time—he paused, thinking back to Vesemir’s words. <em>Free to roam as you wish.</em></p>
<p>Biting the inside of his cheek, he took the first step.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>The view from the tower was unlike anything he’d ever seen; sitting down, far from the edge, he leaned his head back and closed his eyes. The sun was warm on his face and the wind was like music to his ears. He supposed there were worse curses, really. He should be grateful he wasn’t currently in a pig’s body or unable to speak.</p>
<p>(His true nightmare.)</p>
<p>Jaskier went in and out of sleep, letting the curse drift over him. It wouldn’t be so bad, he thought as he opened his eyes, if he at least felt <em>refreshed </em>after one of his short-lived naps. Somehow it was the opposite; the more he slept, the more tired he felt, like the energy was being zapped out of him.</p>
<p>“Just a couple more days,” he muttered, eyelashes fluttering as his eyes slid shut again.</p>
<p>He was woken next to something touching his shoulder. Startling, he jumped up and scrambled back. He relaxed when he saw it was only Geralt, who looked guilty.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” he breathed before Geralt could say anything. “Just—jumpy.”</p>
<p>Geralt nodded curtly. “Are you…” He paused, mouth twisting. “Are you feeling okay?”</p>
<p>It was such a stupid question, but so innocent. Jaskier knew he meant well and yet—he was just so <em>tired</em>. “What do you think?” he asked, throwing his hands up. “If I wasn’t with you, I’d probably be dead by now.” He remembered the soup, Geralt’s skin that had already mostly healed, leaving behind some rough patches of skin. Jaskier’s stomach churned with guilt. “Or terribly disfigured at least,” he added quietly, turning away, gripping the stone railing with both hands.</p>
<p>“I would never let that happen,” he heard from behind him.</p>
<p>Jaskier slowly turned around. “What?”</p>
<p>“I’d never let you die,” he said, and if Jaskier didn’t know better, which he obviously did, he’d say the bastard looked <em>shy</em>. Painfully earnest. “Not if I can help it.”</p>
<p>Jaskier smiled slightly. “Geralt, I—”</p>
<p>When he opened his eyes again, Geralt was hovering over him with a frown. Jaskier took a moment to realize they were no longer at the tower but in Jaskier’s room. “I don’t think you should go up there on your own,” he said gruffly, his mouth a thin line. “You nearly fell over the edge.”</p>
<p>Jaskier closed his eyes. “Fuck. Sorry.”</p>
<p>“Don’t—apologize,” he replied roughly. “I just want you to be safe until we can fix this.”</p>
<p>Jaskier sighed, breathing out slowly. “Eskel was right,” he muttered, so, so tired. “You really are a good man, Geralt. The best.”</p>
<p>“You’re delirious with lack of sleep,” he heard from above him, slightly amused.</p>
<p>Jaskier knew he was right, but he also knew <em>he </em>was right. “I can be—both,” he grumbled a bit nonsensically, opening his eyes a crack. Geralt stared down at him with an odd expression, pinched and tight. Jaskier smiled a little. “You’re so good, Geralt, even when you’re being a bastard, you’re good. That’s why I—”</p>
<p>The door swung open rather violently. Jaskier quickly sat up, suddenly wide awake. Lambert stood in the door. He gave a curt nod. “The mage is here.”</p>
<p>“What?” Geralt asked, even as he kept his eyes on Jaskier. “I thought—”</p>
<p>“We all did,” he interrupted. “Doesn’t matter. She’s here now. Get him to the dining hall.”</p>
<p>Jaskier scrambled out of bed after Lambert left. His clothes were a wrinkled mess and normally he’d prefer to look a bit more proper but right now he didn’t care. He just wanted this over with as quickly as possible. His cheeks were burning by the time he went to join Geralt in the hall. Geralt side-eyed him.</p>
<p>“What were you going to say? Before he interrupted,” he elaborated, as if he needed to.</p>
<p>Jaskier ignored the too-quick thump of his heart. “We can talk about it later,” he said. “After this.”</p>
<p>He hoped Geralt would just forget, but he was doubtful. The man had a painfully good memory.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Jaskier knew it was her before they even reached the dining hall, as if he could sense it in the air. Yennefer stood with Vesemir, talking in hushed voices. He froze, Geralt stopping by his side. “Fucking <em>bastard,”</em> he hissed, low under his breath.</p>
<p>“He didn’t know,” Vesemir said, stepping forward. “He made it perfectly clear you wouldn’t like Yennefer’s help.”</p>
<p>Jaskier glared at him. “And he was right.”</p>
<p>Yennefer rolled her eyes. She was as beautiful as ever. Jaskier wanted to scream. Geralt looked completely unsure of what to do, standing stiffly by Jaskier’s side. He supposed he should be grateful he hadn’t ran to her.</p>
<p>“I owe Vesemir a favor, and so I came,” she said, approaching Jaskier and grabbing his arm without a word. He debated ripping his arm away before deciding against it. She led him to bench. He sat quietly, barely resisting the urge to pout like a petulant child. “I’ll be gone as soon as I’m finished with this,” she promised him, pressing a thumb to his forehead and closing her eyes.</p>
<p>It was perfectly quiet as they all waited. Jaskier itched to ask questions, but didn’t.</p>
<p>With a nod, she opened her eyes. “An easy spell to break. The caster was obviously heavily hindered.”</p>
<p>“And you’ll do it for free?” Jaskier asked skeptically.</p>
<p>Yennefer stared down at him. “I’ll do it as a favor to Vesemir.“ A beat. ”And Geralt.”</p>
<p>“Because you care for him so desperately,” he spit, and he was—<em>angry</em>, not just at Yennefer but himself for being so <em>bitter </em>and ugly, but Yennefer just smiled like he’d said a particularly funny joke, not insulted her character.</p>
<p>She crouched in front of him. “Because he cares for you,” she said simply, and Jaskier could only blink, surprised, as she stood back up, turning to the others. “I’ll need an hour or so to prepare. A room?”</p>
<p>Eskel stepped forward. “Follow me.”</p>
<p>Jaskier watched as she left with Eskel, a weird weight in his chest. “I’ll prepare supper,” Vesemir said. He nodded at Lambert, and they both left as well, leaving him with Geralt.</p>
<p>Geralt, who stood a few feet away, arms folded over his chest. He didn’t look angry, but uncomfortable, painfully so. Jaskier fidgeted with his ring, like he always did when he was nervous and had a million questions but didn’t think he should ask any of them.</p>
<p>“She should keep her nose out of the business of others,” Geralt said after a long stretch of silence.</p>
<p>Jaskier let out an awkward laugh. “You knew who she was the second you decided to sleep with her,” he said, because he had. Jaskier had <em>warned </em>him.</p>
<p>Geralt sighed, finally looking at him. “I did,” he agreed. “Doesn’t make me regret it any less.”</p>
<p>He blinked, surprised for the second time in under an hour. He had never heard Geralt speak of Yennefer as a <em>regret</em>. At least not in this way. Jaskier spun his ring, round and round. “You don’t wish to be with her?”</p>
<p>Geralt stared at him, unblinking. His gaze was heavy, almost too heavy for him to take. “No. Not for a while.”</p>
<p>“Couldn’t fooled me,” he replied, even as his heart thumped loud enough he knew Geralt had to hear it.</p>
<p>The world suddenly went dark.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Jaskier had a dream. He wasn’t sure what that meant in the moment, just knew it was a dream, somehow. Geralt stood in front of him, looking strangely angelic, hair glowing like fresh snow. He <em>wanted </em>him, but that wasn’t new. He had wanted him from the moment he saw him in that rundown tavern.</p>
<p>Stepping forward, he reached for him. As soon as his fingertips touched the exposed skin of his chest, he was gasping, eyes snapping open.</p>
<p>“And just like that,” a voice from above him, “the spell is no more.”</p>
<p>Jaskier’s eyes took a moment to focus; Yennefer hovered over him, looking pleased with herself. Geralt was next to her, practically squashed to her side.</p>
<p>“Jaskier,” he breathed. “How do you feel?”</p>
<p>He opened his mouth, which was unexpectedly dry. “Like I just slept for a week.”</p>
<p>“Making up for lost time,” she replied breezily. “Now I’ll leave you both to <em>talk</em>,” she said the last word like just the mere thought disgusted her. Jaskier turned his head to watch as she left; when the door opened, he caught a quick peek at the others—Eskel, Lambert, even Vesemir; they all looked relieved. Jaskier felt strangely warmed to know they cared about him, even if just a little.</p>
<p>Geralt cleared his throat awkwardly. When Jaskier turned his head back, he was holding out a glass of water. “Thank you,” he croaked as he slowly sat up, taking the glass. He gulped it all down in one smooth swallow.</p>
<p>They were both silent after that, just quietly stealing glances at each other. Finally Geralt grabbed a chair and dragged it over, sitting heavily. “I really didn’t know he had called for her.”</p>
<p>“I know,” he replied. “I believe you.” He always had.</p>
<p>Geralt nodded stiffly, looking off to the side. “I’m glad,” he continued gruffly. “That the spell is gone. I was worried you’d be hurt, eventually.”</p>
<p>Jaskier squeezed the glass tighter. “Right, as if I wasn’t a burden enough already,” he remarked sharply. He knew he was being ridiculous. He knew Geralt wasn’t trying to hurt his feelings, and yet of all the things he had grown insecure of, this was the worst of them. That he was simply a burden to Geralt, that eventually he’d find a way to get rid of him for good.</p>
<p>“That isn’t—” Geralt sighed. “Jaskier, that isn’t what I meant.”</p>
<p>He turned to him again. “I know,” he admitted quietly. “Thank you.”</p>
<p>They were silent once more. Jaskier didn’t know what to say. He wondered if Geralt would ask about what he meant to say, before. Suddenly he wished he would. Instead Geralt placed a hand on the bed and Jaskier stared owlishly at it.</p>
<p>Surely he <em>wasn’t</em>, but why else would he put his hand there? Jaskier slowly reached for his hand.</p>
<p>Geralt let out a soft sound, like a sigh but happier, when their fingers slid together. A perfect fit.</p>
<p>“We should talk about it,” Jaskier said, staring at their hands. “Shouldn’t we?”</p>
<p>Geralt shrugged, squeezing his hand briefly. “You talk too much,” he answered simply.</p>
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